I'm Not Supposed to Be in the Dark

March 13, 2023
For as long as she can remember, 17-year-old Aria Cayetano has had to drink a special tea created by her Lolo to keep the ghosts she dreams about from infiltrating her waking life. After she spots her former best friend Derek Johnson wandering the neighborhood at odd hours, the rosebush that has continuously bloomed outside his house for more than two decades decays into foul-smelling sludge. As Aria digs deeper into the increasingly supernatural occurrences happening around her, recruiting sometimes reluctant friends and family members, Aria gradually realizes that the powers she’s been suppressing might be the only thing that can save Derek from a dark fate. The rekindling of Aria and Derek’s friendship, and their budding romance, is vibrantly depicted against haunting descriptions of ghosts and mortality, making for an intriguing juxtaposition of life and death. Through Aria’s sarcastic first-person narration—interwoven with her illuminating journal entries and eerie dream sequences—and a vivid portrayal of Providence, R.I., Nielsen (Deep in Providence) spins a slow-burn paranormal mystery that examines grief, damaging and healing relationships, and complicated mixed-race family dynamics. Aria is half Cape Verdean and half Filipino; Derek is described as having an “earthy complexion.” Ages 14–up.

April 15, 2023
A Providence, Rhode Island, teen who sees spirits senses something supernatural is happening with her former best friend. High school senior Aria Cayetano, who is of Filipino and Cape Verdean heritage, drinks special tea concocted by her grandfather to dull her connection to the spirits she sees at night. Lately, she's also been secretly watching her neighbor and ex-best friend, Derek Johnson, who is cued Black, wondering where he mysteriously goes off to in the dark. When Derek suddenly starts talking to her again after two years of silence, Aria hopes it means their friendship can be repaired, but there's something different about him. She discovers he's being possessed by a spirit who sometimes takes control. Aria stops drinking her tea to uncover the extent of her abilities--which she'll need in order to save Derek, for whom she's developing feelings. This dreamy and ethereal story combines mystery and romance with the paranormal world of magic and spirits. It's atmospheric, evocative, and just the right amount of chilling. Patience is required of readers as the world slowly unveils itself, especially as Aria's family has many closely guarded secrets. Aria's detective work to discover the truth keeps the momentum going, but it's the examination of relationships and human nature that makes the book sparkle. The tale weaves in grief, empathy, and how far people will go to protect the ones they love. Lushly written and full of emotion. (Paranormal. 14-18)

COPYRIGHT(2023) Kirkus Reviews, ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

April 28, 2023
Grades 10-12 Aria and Derek have been friends since they were babies. But two years ago, Derek just stopped talking to Aria. When Aria, who sometimes sees ghosts, has a strange vision of a rose bush dying in front of Derek's house, she starts to wonder if Derek really stopped talking to her or if there's another, more mystical reason for his silence. There are definitely signs he's not himself, and she starts to wonder if he might be possessed. Aria's grandfather, Lolo Jack, is well-known in the community for providing cure-alls and other magic, including a tea that stops Aria from seeing ghosts. But if he knows more about the spirits that plague her, he's not sharing. To learn the truth, she may have to stop drinking the tea and start seeing ghosts again, no matter how dangerous it is. This is Neilson's sophomore effort (Deep in Providence, 2022), and larger collections may want to have it on hand for their more literary-minded readers.

COPYRIGHT(2023) Booklist, ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

Starred review from June 1, 2023

Gr 9 Up-Aria has always had magic around her. She even takes a special tea twice a day to keep her dreams from taking her over. However, on the eve of her senior year of high school, she misses drinking every drop of her tea and "envisions" the rosebush across the street turn to ash and tar only to see it happen in real life. This rosebush belongs to Derek, the boy who used to be her best friend, and leads her to reconcile her friendship with Derek as he abruptly stops giving her the cold shoulder. The reasoning? He is being possessed by a ghost. Aria's feelings grow stronger as she tries to help the real Derek solve the mystery of what has happened to him; will it be enough to get rid of the spirit inhabiting him? This novel features beautiful and whimsical writing that slowly reveals the magic and ghostly happenings around Aria and her friends and family. She has a hilarious and loyal friend, Briana, and while there is plenty of mystery and magical spookiness with the main story line, there are also many realistic high school scenes throughout including parties, AP Calc, and Aria getting grilled by her titi about college applications. The love story that blossoms, unlike the rosebush, is one that lights a fire on the page and will keep readers wanting a happy ending for all. Aria is of Cape Verdean and Filipino heritage. VERDICT A gorgeously written, supernatural fantasy that deserves a place in secondary libraries where romance, feelings, and magic are appreciated by teens.-Molly Dettmann

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