It's Totally Normal!

May 15, 2023
A mother and her teen explore sexuality-related issues inspired by anonymous questions submitted to Normalizers, their nonprofit for autistic and LGBTQ+ youth. Most of the content is written by mom Monica, an educator and psychologist who peppers in her own experiences, including those related to her Indian cultural heritage. Nonbinary lesbian teen Asha contributes anecdotes, some culled from comments on the Normalizers' social media accounts, and, in a letter to readers, offers clear context for the book: How we understand and talk about sexuality and gender are continually changing. The work's greatest strength is the clear, comprehensive discussion of current terms; even as specific language evolves, the open-minded and matter-of-fact definitions presented here will provide a good basis for understanding. The chapters on puberty, sexual activity (including safer sex and consent), and relationships give readers accurate information in relatable language. Other subjects covered are how to masturbate and the safe use of chest binders and sex toys. The chapters focusing on gender, sexuality, and issues specific to the LGBTQ+ community and their allies are somewhat dense but have an accepting and reassuring tone. Notable throughout the book are the use of inclusive language, the careful attention paid to being transgender or nonbinary, and the exploration of how sexuality and gender intersect with having autism. Line drawings illustrate the text sparingly. Each chapter ends with a Q&A drawn from real teens' questions. A valuable, no-holds-barred resource on gender and sexuality. (glossary, resources, index) (Nonfiction. 14-18)

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Starred review from June 23, 2023

Gr 7 Up-The mother-and-daughter TikTok team known as the Normalizers answers nearly every possible question readers might have about LGBTQIA+ sexuality and gender in this honest, inclusive guide. Monica, an educational psychologist, takes a direct approach to the topic, explaining in plain language all the ins and outs of puberty, crushes, anatomy, and sex, and answering FAQs from curious teens along the way. The layout unfurls naturally, starting with puberty and moving on to how safe sex (of all varieties, including solo) works, emphasizing the importance of consent. The chapters on gender and sexuality are invaluable to young readers-the tone is relatable and the medical information is accurate and accessible. Included throughout are Monica's own stories, as well as stories crowdsourced from the Normalizer community, and Fisher's helpful cartoon illustrations. It's almost impossible to put enough positive superlatives behind this essential guide. This covers all the bases that current heteronormative sex-ed curriculum skips, preparing teens who identify as anything other than cishet for safe, healthy, consenting relationships. VERDICT A necessary addition to middle/high school and public libraries.-Abby Bussen

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